>> INIT_SEQUENCE >> LOAD_MODULE: SARCASM >> LOAD_MODULE: BASH_PARSER >> STATUS: OPTIMAL
BASH OPTIONS
ARE HARD.
WE ARE LAZY.
Stop writing garbage boilerplate. Generate standalone bash scripts because you have better things to do.
parseArger generate \ --pos 'target "TARGET_SYSTEM"' \ --opt 'payload "PAYLOAD_TYPE"' \ --flag 'force "OVERRIDE_PROTOCOLS"' \ --output ./deploy_virus.sh
[+] PARSING_DEFINITIONS... OK [+] GENERATING_PARSER... OK [+] INJECTING_HELP_TEXT... OK [+] COMPILING_SCRIPT... DONE Script generated at ./deploy_virus.sh (Don't actually deploy viruses, please.)
TLDR_PROTOCOL
30 seconds. That's all it takes. Watch the magic happen.
STEP 01: GENERATE
parseArger generate \ --pos 'commit "the offending commit"' \ --opt 'blame "who to blame" --default-value "the intern"' \ --flag 'dramatic "add theatrics"' \ --output ./git-excuser.sh
STEP 02: ADD YOUR GENIUS TO git-excuser.sh
# Your code goes after the generated parser
excuses=(
"I inherited this mess."
"It worked on my machine."
"The tests passed. Blame QA."
"Past me was a different person."
"This was a 'temporary' fix from 2019."
)
echo "🔍 Investigating commit: $_arg_commit"
echo "📋 Blame assigned to: $_arg_blame"
if [ "$_arg_dramatic" = "on" ]; then
echo "🎭 *dramatic pause*"
sleep 1
fi
echo "💬 \"${excuses[$RANDOM % ${#excuses[@]}]}\""STEP 03: PROFIT
./git-excuser.sh abc123 --blame 'past me' --dramatic
🔍 Investigating commit: abc123 📋 Blame assigned to: past me 🎭 *dramatic pause* 💬 "It worked on my machine."
SYSTEM_MANIFEST
[QUERY]What is this monstrosity?
ParseArger is a bash library that generates standalone argument parsing, in bash. It eats its own dogfood to parse its own arguments. It is self-sustaining. It is inevitable.
PAYLOAD_CONTENTS
- 01.Standalone argument, option, and flag parsing
- 02.Auto-generated Help Text (Because you won't write docs)
- 03.Bash Completion Scripts (Tab-tab supremacy)
- 04.HTML Forms? (Yes, for the GUI weaklings)
[INFO] User attempted to maintain legacy bash script.
[CRITICAL] MENTAL_STABILITY dropped below 15%.
[LOG] "Why is getopts so terrible?"
[LOG] "I just want a --verbose flag without writing 50 lines of case statements."
[SOLUTION] INITIATE PARSEARGER.
INSTALLATION_PROTOCOL
Execute the following sequence. DO NOT DEVIATE.
STEP 01: ACQUIRE ASSET
curl -s https://raw.githubusercontent.com/DimitriGilbert/parseArger/main/utils/get_parseArger -O
chmod +x get_parseArger
./get_parseArger --installSTEP 02: GENERATE PROJECT
Scaffold an entire project structure. Why do it manually?
parseArger project my-awesome-tool \ --description "Tools for world domination" \ --git-repo "user/domination-tools" \ --project-subcommand ignite \ --project-subcommand destroy
COMPETITOR_ANALYSIS
XArgbash
The ancestor. Respected, but I didn't understand the generated code. So I built my own. This is the way of the developer.
?Bashly
Ruby dependency? In my Bash environment? It's more likely than you think. Great tool, but ParseArger stays pure. Pure Bash. Pure Chaos.